


These Wounds Don't Seem To Heal

by TeamWincestiel27



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rape Aftermath, Werewolves, Witnessing rape, werewolf rape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2018-12-22 09:02:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11964147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamWincestiel27/pseuds/TeamWincestiel27
Summary: A werewolf hunt gone awry. Dean and Cas find each other, but it wasn't supposed to be like this. How can they navigate a new relationship when one of them has been scarred so badly?----------Just me being absolutely awful to Cas again. I love him to bits, sometimes literally.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This another graphic depiction of rape and violence. Though it probably won't hit til chapter three or so. Not the faint of heart. You have been warned.
> 
> Unbeta'd.

"You're not going." Growled Dean. Castiel whipped around, confusion evident on his face.

"What? Dean, why-?" Dean cut him off.

"It's too dangerous. You're too new to bein' human and, Christ, Cas, do you even know how to really fight?"

"I've fought numerous times, Dean. I've even killed."

Dean frowned, unconvinced. "Yeah, as an angel. You don't have the same strength, no powers, and werewolves are fucking powerful, Cas." He looked down, softening his voice slightly, "It'll rip you apart."

Castiel huffed. He appreciated the sentiment, but he would not be deterred. "I'll be fine, Dean. You and Sam have plenty of experience and if I'm going to be a hunter I have to start somewhere. Besides, from what I understand they're relatively simple to kill."

Dean glared, about to protest further, when Sam interrupted him. "Just let him come, Dean. I'm sure we can handle one werewolf."

Dean breathed heavily and scrubbed his hands over his face in frustration. "Fine." He spat before walking up to Castiel, stopping only when he was almost nose to nose with him. He poked his chest, "But you're getting a crash course in handguns before we go anywhere."

Castiel nodded seriously, but couldn't stop the smirk that crept onto his face as Dean turned away.

____________________

The car ride was tense, and the motel search had been worse. None of they're typical seedy motels had had three beds in one room. Dean wound up paying double their average rate at a nicer hotel for a suite with two bedrooms: a master with a king sized bed and a smaller room with two twins.

Sam didn't bother asking why Dean went to so much trouble. He knew he was on edge about the newly human Castiel tagging along, so much so that he was uncomfortable with him being more than a few feet away.  
He felt like Dean was being overprotective, but that's just how Dean was when he really cared. And, even if Dean couldn't see it himself yet, Sam had a suspicion he cared about Cas very much, indeed. He smirked a little as he threw his duffel down onto his twin bed.

"What the hell you smilin' about?" Dean asked, frowning.

"Just thinking about how I'm gonna get the first shower tonight." He said with a grin as he dashed for the bathroom.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean shouted as he bolted after Sam, but he was too late. By the time he reached the bathroom door it was closed, locked, and he could hear Sam turning the shower on. "Don't use all the hot water!" He shouted, but Sam didn't answer.

He sighed and made his way to the front room the suite shared where Castiel was sitting on the couch, looking lost.

"You should get some sleep, Cas." He said. "Tomorrow night's the full moon and you gotta be in top shape for the hunt."

Castiel nodded and headed for his room. He looked back toward Dean as if he wanted to say something, but thought better of it, continuing into his room and shutting the door behind him.

He laid down on the bed. It was soft and comfortable, but did nothing to soothe his buzzing nerves. Now that they were here and it was really happening he wasn't sure that he could actually do this. Dean had been right about him relying on powers to fight before. He hadn't picked up as readily as he had hoped he would on the handgun crash course and his hand still shook when he held one.   
He sighed, covered his eyes with one arm, and thought of Dean. He wanted, more than anything, to be useful. To prove himself as a good hunter, a good friend, a good...well, he wasn't sure what else, but something in that thought ached gently. He thought of Dean, of green eyes and sun-kissed freckles, of tired, crooked smiles, and the ache grew sharper.

"Dean..."


	2. Chapter 2

"Ok." Sighed Dean, putting on his gray suit jacket. "Let's get this show on the road."

Castiel didn't respond. He straightened his time and checked his pocket for his (fake) FBI badge. He couldn't help but notice, for probably the hundredth time, how handsome Dean looked in a suit and let his eyes gently wander over broad shoulders, slim waist, tight-

"Earth to Cas, are you in there?" Castiel quickly looked up to see Dean frowning at him over his shoulder. "Are we going or what?"

He nodded. "Yes. I'm ready now."

Sam, who hadn't missed the way Castiel eyes had roved over Dean, sighed inwardly and rolled his eyes. Maybe, just maybe, this case would make them figure everything out and he could stop watching them eye-fuck each other when the other wasn't looking. They walked out the door to the Impala, shouting rough good-byes to Sam on their way.

"If only I could be so lucky." Sam said quietly as the door shut behind them.

______________________

Dean and Cas drove to a small house near the center of town and parked. "This is the mother of the first victim." Said Dean. "His name was Jason Clarke and we're just here to see if she remembers anything about his whereabouts that would help the... investigation."

"Is she a suspect?" Castiel asked. Dean gave him a blank look.

"What? No. No she is not a suspect. Not yet anyway."

Castiel looked faintly disappointed, but got out of the Impala anyway and followed Dean inside.

___________________

Several hours later they knew almost nothing more than they had before.   
All the victims were male, all had been out either drinking or shopping the night they were abducted and mutilated. They were all in their late twenties to early thirties and had all been found in the woods just south of town. Dean pinched the bridge of his nose is frustration. If they didn't find a link between the victims that made sense they wouldn't find this thing before it took another victim. Then they'd have to wait a whole month before they could hunt it again.

"Damnit..." He whispered.

Cas frowned slightly, thinking. "I wonder..." He said aloud. "Do you think this werewolf has a preference for dark haired men?"

Dean snorted. "What you mean like it likes them?"

"Perhaps. I'm not sure why it would have any preference as far as hair color, but all of them did seem to have dark brown or black hair."

"Yeah, maybe, but that makes every dark haired guy in town a potential victim and we can't watch 'em all, so that doesn't really help."

"I suppose your right."

Castiel sat back dejectedly and Dean couldn't help but feel a little guilty. He was just trying to help, after all.

"Hey, why don't we go pick up some dinner before it gets dark. I'm sure Sam's pretty hungry after researching all day. I'm starving anyway."

At this, Castiel seemed to perk up and Dean smiled, too slight for anyone to see, and headed toward a diner that would do carry out.  
_______________________

As it turns out, Sam was grateful for the food and they discussed their finding over burgers (and a salad). Dean relayed their own pitiful finding first and Dean made sure to include Castiels' observation of the werewolves proclivity towards dark-haired men.

Sam nodded and then it was his turn.

"From what I've found, we're not dealing with a normal werewolf."

"What the hell does that mean?" Dean said through a mouthful of burger.

"It means," Sam said, pulling out the laptop and flipping it to a page that was clearly from database he had hacked, "Every victim was sexually assaulted before being killed."

Dean read the file and looked at Sam in confusion. "So, what, it's werewolf mating season or something?"

Sam just shrugged ad returned to his salad. "Dunno. It might mean it's more aggressive if it's in heat or something. Or maybe it's just some kind of rapist werewolf. Who knows?"

Dean shrugged in response, Castiel stared blandly at his burger. He had barely touched it. "I think I need some air." He said and without so much as glancing at the Winchesters he got up from the table and headed toward the door.

Dean stood up and followed. "Cas? What the hell?" 

"I just...need to clear my head. I won't be long."

Something in his eyes made Dean shove down the protests that he was getting ready to voice. "Fine...just be careful. And take your gun!"

Castiel pulled back his jacket to reveal the handgun tucked into his waistband. "Of course." He said. And then he was gone into the night.

____________________

The cool night air felt good on his too-warm skin. He began walking towards the small gas station about a block away. He didn't plan on buying anything, but he figured it was as good of a place as any to walk aimlessly towards.  
He took a steadying breath. Now that he was human, all of this felt too real, too dangerous. Sure he had risked his life against things that could kill him before, but that was either something he was equally matched with, like an angel, or something he was stronger than, like a human. Now, he was going up against something that was profoundly and undeniably stronger than he was. And he was scared. 

A noise to his right caught his attention and whipped his head around to see a figure emergency from the undergrowth.

Unnerved, Castiel drew his gun, but kept it pointed down, lest the figure see how much his hands were trembling. It was at this point a cloud that had been blocking the moonlight moved and the figure was illuminated. It was tall, hairy, and snarling. It crouched low and let out a deep growl before slinking forward.

Castiel tried to shout, scream, make any kind of noise but his throat was tight and dry. It was steadily coming closer and at last something seemed to connect in his fear frozen brain. He raised his gun and fired, but missed the creature by a mile. It snarled and reared up, towering over Castiel impressively.

"D-Dean..."Castiel croaked, barely above a whisper, and then, from behind him,

"CAS!"

Dean is running full speed toward Castiel and the werewolf, gun drawn, but it's too late. The creature lunges and pulls Castiel up and over it's shoulder before bolting into the woods. Dean takes aim, but immediately lowers his gun. He can't risk hitting Cas.

"That son of a BITCH!" He shouted. "I knew, I fucking KNEW we shouldn't have brought him along. God damnit!"

"We don't have time for this, Dean! We have to find him before it's too late."

Dean muttered something under his breath before tucking his gun back into his waistband and running in the direction the werewolf went.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the rape scene. If you don't want to read the graphic depictions within, but are enjoying the story, you may skip this scene and proceed to the next chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man this chapter is short. I hope you guys don't mind. I could have cut it much later, but I like where Im starting the next chapter. Oh well.  
> Remember that this is semi-graphic. You have been warned. Enjoy.

Castiel watched as the Winchesters became rapidly obscured by the tree line, panic tightening his throat and preventing him from screaming. He pounded uselessly at the werewolf's muscular back and cursed himself for being stupid enough to drop his gun.

Trees rushed by him in a blur and the thick canopy blotted out most of the pale moonlight. Castiels now human eyes had trouble adjusting to the darkness and soon he couldn't see anything but shadow.

Suddenly, the werewolf stopped and threw Castiel to the ground. His head clipped a protruding tree branch and pain arced across his temple, momentarily stunning him. Whether by accident or by design, this prevented Castiel from even attempting escape and within seconds the creature was on his back and ripping at his clothes.

Its razor-sharp claws dug into his back and the sensitive skin on his legs. White hot pain wracked through his body. He screamed in agony, he didn't think human pain could be this excruciating, and he struggled against the creatures powerful grip, but his attempts we're feeble compared to the strength and sheer weight of the werewolf above him.

Suddenly, the slashing stopped and Castiel felt, surprisingly gently at first, something warm, wet, and big pressing against his newly exposed entrance. Panic enveloped him and squeezed his chest as if the werewolf's claw had his very heart in an icy grip.

Then, pain. Pain like he had never imagined surging through his body and tearing him apart from the inside. His vision whited out as the feeling of practically being ripped in two overwhelmed him. He might have been screaming, but couldn't tell.

The werewolfs large member pushed in and out quickly, aggressively, the sticky precum barely providing enough lubrication, and soon Castiel was on the edge of blacking out, his energy spent, darkness pulling him in, when he heard possibly the most wonderful and terrible sound in that moment:

"GET AWAY FROM HIM YOU SON OF A BITCH!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kinda rushed through the last half of the chapter, but, eh. I've waited long enough to post.

Chapter 4

"Get away from him, you son of a bitch!" Dean spat as he raised his gun. The creature slowed it's thrusting to look toward Dean, but didn't stop. It's eyes were glazed and its tongue lolled obscenely out of the side of its mouth. 

Two shots rang out in the night, and the werewolf fell backwards, landing behind Castiel with a thud, one bullet between the eyes, the other lodged in its heart. A sickening crunch and snap could be heard as it slowly shrank and returned to a its human form, finally lying still.

Dean rushed to Castiels' side and knelt down, immediately examining the severity of the wounds. He knew the man was still alive by the choked sobs and whimpers coming from him.  
"Christ..." He muttered, holding back as much of his emotion as he could. "It...it's gonna be okay, Cas. Just hold still." 

The wounds on his back and legs we're miraculously shallow. A few stitches here and there and minimal risk of blood loss at the moment. They could wait. He glanced down lower and, upon seeing the blood smearing Castiel buttocks, realized that the slashes were the least of his worries. He squeezed his eyes shut against the sight and turned back toward Castiels face.

This wasn't much better. Long tear tracks cut through the dirt and blood smeared across his face.

"Dean...?" His voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper. "Dean, I-I'm sorry, the w-werewolf...I just c-couldnt-"

"Don't worry about that now." Dean replied. He turned to face Sam, who was standing a few feet away looking like he was trying not to throw up or cry. "There's a hospital about a mile away. You drive." 

Sam nodded even as Dean turned away. Dean took his jacket off and draped it gently over Castiel shaking body. He hissed a little as the fabric touched his open wounds, but didn't struggle.   
"Kay, Cas. I'm gonna carry you outta here. This...this probably gonna hurt...a lot. But we gotta move, okay?"

Castiel nodded and Dean began turning him over and lifting him, carrying him gently, bridal style, in the direction of the motel and the Impala. Castiel cried out once, but otherwise the only noise that escaped him was a low, defeated groan.

Dean tried to soothe him, "Don't worry, I got ya." But he could hear the panic rising in his voice and thought it might be best if he kept his mouth shut for now.

Castiel continue to mutter he was sorry, until he finally passed out halfway to the hospital.

____________________

The next time Castiel awoke he was lying in a white room, unnervingly bright, softly blurred, and he was warm and comfortable. Was he back in heaven? Had he...died? He tried to sit up, but the pain that wracked his body brought everything into sharp focus and he cried out.  
He heard footsteps rapidly approaching.

"Christ, Cas, quit moving you're gonna open up your stitches."

Dean stood over him, one hand on his shoulder, gently, but firmly, pushing him back down on the bed.

"Dean? What happened? I remember shouting and gunshots and-"

Dean held up a hand and waved it as if to wave away Castiel concerns. He shook his head. "Don't worry about that right now. You're safe, you're alive, and you're gonna stay that way for awhile. You can worry about the how and the why crap later."

Castiel was about to protest when Sam walked in with a man Castiel took to be a doctor.

"Ah, Mr. Winchester, you're awake. How are you feeling?" 

Castiel elected not to comment on what Sam and Dean had decided to list as his last name and instead answered the doctor honestly.

"Terrible." He said flatly.

The doctor nodded and checked his chart. "I can see why. The good news is you're on track for a full recovery. The bad news is you'll be out of commission for awhile. Now, I'm sure you want to go home, and you're more than welcome to, but I'm going to recommend at least another night here for observation. Also, due to the...nature of the attack you experienced I'm going to recommend you speak to a psychologist. When you're ready, of course."

This was all a bit too much talking for Castiel. It was mostly in one ear and out the other, aside from "home", and he was starting to feel groggy. 

"I..." He glanced at Dean, who had one hand clenched on the bars of his hospital bed and his eyes locked somewhere on Castiel chest (though he had the distinct feeling Dean was looking through him rather than at him) and at Sam who was paying close attention to what the doctor was saying. "I would like to go home. Now, please."

At this Sam finally turned to Castiel and spoke. "Are you sure, Cas? You're pretty...banged up." He said with a quick once over of Castiels' body. 

Castiel nodded with a wince and the doctor sighed. "I'm starting to think that reverse psychology stuff is bunk. Alright, Mr. Winchester. I'll have you checked out of here within the hour, just sit tight."

_______________________________________

Back at the hotel, Dean paced. 

"Dean..." Sam said, attempting to be soothing. "He's okay now. He's resting, the werewolf is dead, the jobs done."

Dean stopped pacing abruptly and leaned on the couch. "He could've died."

Sam resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "We both could die at any moment on any job. That's what it's like. You know that, Dean."

"This is different." Dean said roughly. "He never should have come. He's too green. This is my fault."

This time Sam did roll his eyes. "For Christ's sake, it's not your fault. It's the job. Shit happens. We'll all be more careful next time."

Dean scoffed, but remained silent. From Castiels' room they heard a slight groan and Sam peeked inside. He shook his head. "He's still asleep."

________________________________

Castiel wasn't asleep, but he was pretending. The groan the boys had heard was Castiel trying not to cry out with all his conflicting emotions. He'd fucked up. He'd fucked up bad and nearly gotten himself killed. And Dean blamed himself? He felt like such an idiot.  
As soon as he had his strength back he'd make it up to Dean, somehow.

He suppressed another groan and tried to get some sleep.


End file.
